My husband arrived three weeks ago, Tuesday. Things have been pretty good since then. We've had two fights so far, the second of which my own mother started, and both of them involving my husband's behavior. He wasn't drinking when he first arrived, but he's started again by sneaking into my parents' liquor cabinet. He wasted no time sniffing out the alcohol, that I can assure you. My parents don't drink cola, so he was reduced to diet lipton's and water.
But since I started working again, he's been to the store to stock up on beer and Coca Cola. That weight he lost in the last few weeks will be on again in no time, and I'm dreading having to confront him about spending our money on crap like that when we still owe my parents so much and we have to save.
On a different topic, the week hubby arrived, our son started school. He's been adjusting very well and seems quite happy these days. He's befriended the three kids from next door, all a year younger than he, and everyone at school is very curious about his Germanness. He appears to enjoy school, which is a relief for me and my husband. Picture day is already next week, and so are the orders for next month's Fun Lunches. It's been kinda fun arranging for all that as a parent. I remember those things so clearly...I also applied for a job and interviewed it, the week hubby arrived, and snagged it the very next week. Tuesday was my first day, and I've been enjoying the experience of working again in a friendly environment.
I'm a proofreader for a slide-chart company, located just around the corner from my copy editing job at the magazine publishing company I left seven years ago. And here's the ironic part: I'm working with a designer with whom I also worked when I left that company. He's pretty new here, too, having started in May. Isn't that wild? I brought my husband to the Faire, and I was happy to find out that he really enjoyed.
It was important to me that he see that part of me. He's also seen a strong, independent part of myself that he'd never known. At first he liked it, and told my mom so in a private conversation. But this week, beginning Wednesday in fact, he's been distant and rather like he's always been to me. In fact, our fight two nights ago stemmed from the return of his old behavior. He was in a bad mood and spoke to me disrespectfully, to keep an old story to a few words.
I said some hateful things (I called him a fucking german nazi. My mom said that if he treats me the way he does, then he must really hate me. My husband responded by saying he doesn't hate me, or he wouldn't have married me. I said we'd known each other for only six weeks before he proposed, how could he know? I said if I'd known him any better than I had, then I wouldn't have married him. That really hurt him, but I was angry not just because of his behavior but because we had finally gone back to square one. Honeymoon phase is over.), but later we all said sorry to one another. And since then he's been as distant toward me as ever.
The timing of the fight was pretty on-target. That afternoon as I drove home, I was feeling bad for having felt badly toward him, and for not feeling more loving and not even wanting to. I was wondering what would happen even if he made a permanent change for the better. Would I be able to accomodate that? And then my question was answered the moment I walked through the door and met him in the kitchen. He won't change. He'll keep drinking, he'll keep being rotten toward me when my parents aren't around.
But aside from that, things have been very smooth and life seems to have taken a turn for the better. I feel empowered. And I hope that my husband finds some happiness in our family's change, too.I really do.and no, I didn't proufreed my post befor posting it. I often dont.
